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Little Insights

It Wasn't Always Sunshine and Happiness

It Wasn't Always Sunshine and Happiness

So....I write a very public blog, yet I have kept quiet about one of my darkest hours.  I have failed my readers to a certain extent by not sharing how I recovered from the darkest time in my entire life.  After Tori was born and we nearly lost her, I suffered with anxiety, which more closely resembled post traumatic stress disorder.  My mind was set on replay, constantly replaying the day that she was born and the horrific experience that we all had in the hospital. 

I was strapped down to the operating room table earlier that April morning, excited to meet my baby girl.  Our baby girl.  The c-section went well.  She was lifted from my body, cried out, which as any mom knows is the best sound to our ears.  The room fell silent of those cries, and was instead filled with meaningless chatter amongst the people who filled my operating room.  My precious girl was placed in the isolette, not crying, not breathing.  I lay there, helplessly as time stood still.  Not a soul in the room moved in to resuscitate her, though medical professionals filled the room.  I can see their bodies, moving about the room, hear the meaningless chatter and see them all doing NOTHING, just as though it were yesterday, even though 12 years have since past.

So, how does one move beyond those moments – move through those moments?  How does someone see the beauty in those moments where time seems to stand still and fly by simultaneously?  How do you see the silver lining?

I have always been a dreamer.  A realist, but a dreamer.  I knew the life I wanted, the life I wanted for my children.  The circumstances surrounding Tori’s birth paralyzed me for almost a year.  There was an adjustment period – hospital stays, surgeries on my baby girl, the fear that people would ‘feel sorry for us’, the fear that others would not understand the scope of what it is to raise a child with specific special needs.  One of my most thought provoking moments came when I realized that the mere thought of a “NORMAL CHILD” did not exist.  I started viewing everyone as though we all have special needs.  I, in my three-plus decades of life had yet to meet a “normal” person.  Define normal???

 Instead of feeling the need to question what happened and persecute those who did not step into action I realized that my life, our life was best spent finding and keeping our happiness and our sense of normalcy in our home and in our hearts.  Once upon a time everything mattered…then I realized that what really mattered was finding out how to live our best life and giving Tori and our other children the best life ever.

So how do you pull yourself from the grips of anxiety and begin to live?

I read about anxiety and I read about natural cures for anxiety.  I knew the hold that anxiety had on me.  I was scared beyond belief that one day I would put my baby girl down to sleep and that I would awake, yet she would not.  I read.  And read.  And read.  That fear paralyzed me, to the point that to this day I remembered that fear.  In that fear I was unable to live.  I went through the motions.  I was a great mom and wife, but I failed to live.  In that moment of weakness I turned to medication for anxiety.  It wasn’t good enough for the life that I wanted for my family.  Those medications often leave you feeling like you are in a daze.  You can complete all of your tasks and responsibilities, but you don’t feel as aware.  I hated that feeling and knew that something had to change. 

I realized that the only way for me to move through this fear was to play my worst nightmares out in my head.  I visualized thoroughly, my worst fears.  I realized my strengths and my weaknesses.  I realized that, though many in those first few years questioned things like prognosis’, goals, milestones, those thoughts no longer consumed me. 

I realized that in my ability to ‘live’ I was able to think more clearly, free from the anxiety that once tore my heart to pieces.  I was able to breathe without the tightness in my chest and breathe clearly.  I realize that beyond my control was the control that saved Toria on the day that she was born.  I remembered that in this life there is something much bigger than me.  My job was to be a mom, the best mom – And wife, the best wife that I could be.  The rest is written in the stars.

We all leave behind a legacy – much like the books with alternate endings.  In my darkest moments I was not choosing my ‘Happily Ever After’.  I realized that, though we can control so very little we should, with happy hearts and wisdom choose to live our best lives, free from the grips of moments in life that we cannot control – That we cannot change.

 

To those of you that have struggled, are struggling, will struggle.  I know that pain.  Remember, in your darkest moment that there is a legacy and life that is yours to live. <3

For those precious babies who died for no reason....

 

What does it mean when you can't make heads or tails of it all?

When you see the disturbed,

their downward spiral,

head-spinning toward the depths of hell.

Toward the depths of hell.

When man destroys its own

...and the dreams of others.

When hearts stop beating...

....for no apparent reason.

No letters left behind.

No wrongs to be made right.

All the questions as to why....

others must pay the price...

For the injustices you faced in your life.

Life.

It's about choices.

And help when things go wrong.

Leaning on others in your darkest day.

Loving...and learning to pray.

Waiting for the moment for your awakening.

Seeking up when you feel down.

Rising up when you are on the ground.

Realizing your self-worth when all-else fails.

Stopping the senseless violence.

You'll not die a martyr for your useless cause....

Targeting the innocent.

Your life, your point....a moot loss.

In your downward spiral you have wasted your space.

Taking the life of an innocent face.

It is them that will be remembered, while yours is a disgrace.

Your cause....just a waste...just a waste....

©LittleInsights2012

Our Precious Hera

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Our Precious Hera "Bear-bear"

November 2000 ~ November 2nd, 2012

Rest in Peace, my gorgeous girl.

 

 

Bear-Bears story is an extraordinary one.  She came into our lives when we least expected it.  It was in November, 2003 that my husband was driving to work.  As he pulled onto the main street in the neighborhood he saw a Rottie that resembled our precious Raven from afar.  He stopped the car, opened the door and called to her.  She wagged her tail and came right up to him.  He realized as she neared that she was in fact, not Raven.  She ran back to the safety of the grass nearby.  With no collar or tags and my hubs on his way to work our hands were tied.  We didn't want to call the animal control because of her sweet disposition we knew that her family would be looking for her.  Later that afternoon I looked out of the windows in the front of the house and there, on our porch was this very thin dog.  I was hesitant to open the door, but I just knew I had to.  I set out a bowl of food and water, for which she was grateful.  We waited to see if anyone posted any flyers for missing animals.  No-one ever claimed her.  Fast forward a few days to a very cold, day before Thanksgiving.  Carlos and I brought Raven into the garage and out of the elements before heading out to run our errands.  When we returned home we were surprised to see that there was a dog in our huge dog run.  The dog, whom we'd one day call Hera had dug her way under our fence and under the second fence into the dog run.  That night was extremely cold.  We didn't want to bring her inside because we hadn't taken her to a veterinarian for vaccinations or a check-up.  Instead we decided to feed her and put a shirt on her to help keep her warm.  A few days passed and this little lady had already stolen our hearts and Ravens heart as well.  We took her to the vet and learned that this sweet girl had heartworms.  The vet felt that someone had probably dumped her because of the cost of treating the heartworms.  The bond was already formed.  There was no turning back.  We proceeded with the heartworm treatment and prayed that she'd pull through.  She responded beautifully to the treatment and was back in our home, her forever home in no-time.  Hera was immediately a wonderful addition to our family.  She realized quickly that Tori had special needs and we began to use her as a therapy dog for Tori.  She would lie down and we would place Tori across her belly.  Soon Tori realized that she could raise her body off of the ground and crawl on her own. 

Over the years she was a loyal friend, protector, confidante, partner-in-crime, mother-hen to the kiddos, fashion model whom Hannah loved to dress up(In fact, just a few days before she passed away, Hannah chose gold nail polish for me to paint on her "toe nails" Hannah chose gold, why?  Because she had a heart of gold, of course.  Hera was an all-around fabulous girl who truly enriched our lives.  We knew that we'd one day have to say goodbye to our sweet girl, Hera.  And that day came on Friday, November the 2nd.  As the kids slipped away from her side to complete their schoolwork and as I made my way to the kitchen to tackle some dishes her beautiful soul slipped quietly and peacefully from this life to the next.

Yesterday her ashes were returned to us and she has taken her place next to Raven.  Our hearts ache, but are forever grateful that she came into our lives that cold November day.


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Missing in Action ~ (I think I have typed that one before?)

I know I am completely guilty of abandoning my blog.  I have, however had many things on my plate, so to speak.  I have been working tremendously hard at accomplishing my weight loss goals and conquering the battle of the buldge before it conquered me.  To date I have lost almost 39 pounds, have accomplished 2 goals and I am now in the final stretch of my weight loss journey.  Now.....to tackle the final 10 to 15 pounds. My goal has always been to be fit, lean and muscular.  (I do have to lift my sweet Toria, who is nearly as tall as I am these days).  I am well on my way to achieving those goals.  "Before" and "After" pictures are soon to come  (just as soon as I reach my final goal, that is).  

I Am Her Advocate

Today I was handed a poorly written inter-office e-mail from the "Auth coordinator" from the company that provides Tori with her occupational therapy, to her occupational therapist that basically indicates that because Tori's progress has not been as speedy as the insurance company would have liked to have seen, our primary insurance will no longer be covering her services as of 08/09/2012.  My husband pays heavily for this insurance, by the way.  To be exact one fourth of his pay goes to provide insurance for our family. It infuriates me to no end that some idiot is perched behind a desk in an office building somewhere in the middle of nowhere land and hasn't a clue what Tori's "needs" are.  They don't seen her progress first hand.  They don't witness her struggles, her strengths,her adversities that she has yet to overcome.  They don't realize the enormity of any progress when it comes to the life of a child with altered abilities.

All of this infuriates me.

As her mom I am forced to step up to the plate and serve as her voice when it comes to her needs, whether it is the new syringe that they are sending, or crappy diapers that they chose to send, or therapy services that they are threatening to deny.

Have I mentioned that all of this infuriates me?

Without a doubt, I always fight for her best interest.  It is my job as her mother to be that advocate that she desperately needs.

It infuriates me that Tori isn't the only one who is being denied those services that we pay for and that she needs.  I'd love to have a word with the individual who sits, perched behind that desk that feels good at the end of the day as they make decisions that so greatly effect the lives of children throughout our country.  I pray that they never find themselves serving as an advocate for someone who has no voice to speak up for themselves.  

KARMA!

Fortune Cookie Funnies

I cook!  A whole, whole lot.  I actually love cooking for my husband and kiddos.  We do, however enjoy the occasional take-out options from local restaurants.  One of our very favs is from our local Chinese restaurant.  Without fail we always have more fortune cookies than anyone eats in one sitting, so I toss them into the treat jar or our "snack basket".  This afternoon Hayden asked me if he could have a fortune cookie. "Sure.", I replied.  He chose the cookie and brought it to me to have me read the fortune.  Usually the fortunes are pretty neat, however this one was a bit on the lame side.  As I read the fortune he bit into his cookie.  Both of us grimaced at nearly the same exact moment.  "My fortune cookie is stale.", he chimed in.  "Well don't eat it then, silly.   I think your fortune was pretty stale too.", I said.  Without skipping a beat he asks me for the fortune, which I handed to him.  He looks at the fortune, delicately grasps on end of the tiny slip of paper, bites one end of the fortune and says, "No it's not, Mom.".  That's my boy!

It is so hard to believe how quickly the time passes.....

It is so hard to believe that on this day, June 10th, thirteen years ago I stood before my best friend, lover and soul mate and promised to love, honor and cherish him for as long as we both shall live.  Even more astonishing is the fact that this year we will happily celebrate sharing twenty-one years of our lives together.  I don't even feel like I am twenty-one years old.  How is it possible that I am celebrating twenty-one years with the love of my life?

I cannot lie.  I envisioned this day in my previous hopes and dreams.  One where he and I were raising a beautiful family together, still very much happy and very much in love with one another. He still makes my heart beat a little bit faster and I his.  I dreamed it this way.  Perhaps I am a fool to believe in soul mates and that our perfect match flutters about in this life waiting for us. I am so glad that time was on our side, that the planets and stars and everything that is far bigger than all of us magically aligned and the two of us came together.  I am so glad that before we fell in love we became the best of friends.  I am glad that I pretended that I was asleep the first few times that he professed his love for me.  I am glad that I have always been honest with myself and in turn honest with him.  To this day, he remains my best friend, my soul mate if you will. He is truly the half which makes me whole.  I could not begin to imagine this journey through life without him by my side.

Happy anniversary my love.  May we continue to share many more, wonderful memories together.  I love you with every single fiber of my being. 

XOXOXO, 
Me

Why Does This Have to Be

I am standing here at the edge of the Earth

Where the land melts into the sea

In disbelief at what this world has come to be

Children turned beggars

Hungry.

Hun-gry.

Crying in solace

As the crops, they die

Tainted by greed

It's what lies within

The powers that be --

Their hands washed with sin

Taking bribes.

Letting businesses win

while children suffer

suffering within.

Their wretched hearts have turned to stone--

Blood runs cold.

Their blood runs cold,

with pockets filled.

Yet children starve

and do without

without a doubt.

So why should this be?

Why does this have to be?

Oh mercy,

Mercy,

Mercy me.

Why, oh why does this have to be?

 

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2012

The Dave Matthews Band -- Seriously the BEST Live Show (And my favorite band, in case you didn't know)

On the 18th my hubs and I enjoyed a fabulous date night, complete with dinner at Kita, Japanese restaurant  (http://www.kitawoodlands.com/) where I had their fantastic Ahi Tuna Steak while my hubs chose their braised leg of lamb.  Both dishes, while as different as night and day were absolutely fabulous.  If you haven't tried them, I highly recommend popping in to try one of their many fantastic menu items.

After dinner, we enjoyed a nice walk along the Woodlands Waterway and a bottle of Dreaming Tree (http://www.dreamingtreewines.com).  All of the wines are outstanding, but our favorite has to be "Crush".  It is a warm, blended red wine that is extremely smooth on the palate an pairs easily with any meal or enjoy alone.

Opening for The Dave Matthews Band this year was Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic  Zeroes.  Although we opted for a walk and  a  glass of wine their performance was easily heard from outside the pavilion.  Their music is pretty damn good, I must admit.  If you haven't checked them out you should.

The hubs and I had a little chuckle as we waited in line to enter the pavilion as we watched everyone pass through their security.  Each person entering was asked to turn around, turn out their pockets, open their purses...  The guy in front of us was less than enthused.  To lighten the mood I told him to enjoy it, just take it all in, savor that moment. My hubs kindly reminded him that the search could involve a rubber glove.  The guy said that he thought we lived in America, land of the free.  "That was years ago, those days are gone.", I reminded him.  It is what it is. 

I love the energy in the air as Dave Matthews takes the stage.  This band plays and conveys their message with such passion and conviction.  You feel EVERY. SINGLE. beat, EVERY. SINGLE. word.  EVERY SINGLE ounce of passion that they pour into each performance. 

This years set list at Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavillion included:

Opening-

1. Big Eyed Fish

Followed by-

2. Funny the Way It Is

3.  Grace Is Gone

4.  Eh Hee

5.  Seven

6.  #41

7. Beach Ball

8.  Don't Drink the Water

9.  Mercy (First time this song was performed as a full band)

10.  Gaucho (First time this song was performed as a full band)

11.  Sweet (First time this song was performed as a full band)

12.  Crush

13.  You Never Know

14.  You and Me

15.  Stay or Leave

16.  Pantala Naga Pampa

17.  Rapunzel

Encore-

18.  Squirm

19.Grey Street

 

If you haven't seen DMB live, you are truly missing an amazing show.  The only concert that I have ever seen that is comparable to their show was Pink Floyd's in 1994.  You walk away from their concert wanting more.  Not because they didn't give you enough, but because their performance resonantes such energy and passion that you can never get enough.

I Know! I Know! I've Been Missing in Action....

I'm ba-ack!

I know that I have been missing in action for far too long.  Truth be told I needed to take a break to really collect my thoughts and re-track my derailed train.  Okay, so....my whole train wasn't derailed, but I must admit that after having my second miscarriage in as many years threw me for a loop.  

Sometime life isn't "fair", sometimes things aren't what we "want", but they simply are what they are and they are meant to be for that exact moment.  I needed to take that moment and remind myself of that.

After sharing that loss with you all I was asked by a very near and dear member of my family why I share those intimate details of my life.  The answer that spilled from my heart and continues to ring true to this day is that this blog is real.  Plain and simple.  I don't sugar coat my feelings or opinions.  I son't hide the things that I have experienced.  If you have joined me on this journey, well...you have joined me. The good, the bad, the ugly and the majority of the moments that will literally take your breath away.

In suffering not one, but three miscarriages I felt that it was important to shed light on my experience in order to help others.  Somewhere, at this very moment a mother-to-be is no longer feeling the life inside her growing and thriving.  Somewhere, right now a mother-to-be is learning that her baby's heart no longer beats.  Somewhere that mom to be is learning the same news that I learned.  It would be a huge disservice and injustice to those moms to be who experience those types of losses for me to remain silent.

That is why I write.

That is why I blog.

That is why I open my life to you and and allow you to join me through times of bliss and times of grief. 

I write from the heart and hope that you, my readers are inspired through my words.

I feel like the loss of a pregnancy should not go unnoticed, while at the same time, you can't let those moments define your life in a negative way.  I don't believe in pity.  What I do believe in, is that in those moments of sadness you dig deep and rebuild yourself even stronger that what you were before.

I took this moment of loss and decided to transform my life even further.

From the moment I became a mom, I always put my children and my family before myself.  ALWAYS.  Without fail.  I'd make any sacrifice in order to have more time with my children.  I was tiny once upon a time.  A size zero, to be exact.  I watched my body grow and change to accommodate the precious lives that would thrive within my body.  I embraced those changes lovingly.  As a matter of fact, I have NEVER in my life felt more gorgeous than those moments when I am bursting at the seams with a life growing inside of me.

As the days crept past after our recent  pregnancy loss I spoke with my wonderful mother-in-law.  She reminded me of her first baby, who would be delivered too early and whom she would have to say goodbye to before she was ever able to hold.  She wanted to fill that void and became pregnant again.  She nearly lost that pregnancy, but was able to, under watchful eye deliver successfully.  My sister-in-law was born premature.  She was advised at that point, nearly forty years ago that her body needed to rest.  She heeded her doctors warnings and waited several years before trying to conceive again.  Her final pregnancy which resulted in the birth of my husband was her "best" pregnancy.

All of this struck a serious chord with me and I decided that it was time to focus on myself a little bit.  It was time to shed my pregnancy pounds from the pregnancies that weren't meant to be and become the healthiest me that I can possibly be.

In that time of loss I embraced the idea of rebirth.  The rebirth of me -- What I want to be for my children, for my husband and most of all for ME.  I will take this opportunity to grow me.  Good Lord willing, perhaps I will be lucky enough to one day grow another little life inside of me, but for the moment I will grow me.

*****To be continued*****

I Am Not Even Making This Up!

I had to pop into Hobby Lobby for a couple items today (Yes, Hobby Lobby and just a couple of items....sad, I know) .  Anyway, I made my way to the register with my whopping four items, placed them on the counter and engaged in conversation with the cashier.  As we enjoyed our chit-chat we couldn't help but notice a foul-mouthed, lippy, nine or ten year old girl who kept smarting off to her mother.  Her mother informed her that, "It wasn't her first rodeo and that she should wait there."  (Pointing to a place away from where she was standing.)  The girl became affixed on the candy selection just within reach.  At that time she turned to her mother and said, "Hey!  Why don't you buy me one of these to shut me up?".

HOLY HELLO KITTY!  Did?  She?  Just?  Speak?  To? Her? Mother? THAT? Way???

I just kind of paused in amazement, my cashier and I both did.

I quickly picked my jaw off of the floor, gathered my bags and scurried out to the car, still stunned by the behavior and demands of that ill-mannered little girl.  Had that been me as a kid I think I would have been lucky to be able to sit down for a week after that shenanigans.  

Not the News I Had Hoped to Share....

I just knew that things would be different this time. 

I gave my body what is normally considered to be an optimal amount of time after a miscarriage before trying to conceive.

In early February my monthly visitor never arrived.  I started to feel that giddiness that you feel during early pregnancy.  I took one test, which was negative, waited a few days and took another test.  It was positive!  I want to say that I was over-the-moon excited, but I was nervous after having had a miscarriage.  After a quick discussion with my husband we decided to only tell our oldest son.  He can wrap his head around the idea that things may not work out as we'd hope and after our last miscarriage and the disappointment that the other kids felt when we lost that pregnancy we felt that it would be better to just let him know.  I felt fabulous.  The nausea was welcomed, the tiredness, the cravings and aversions, all of those feelings were welcomed.  I did, however decide to wait until I knew that we'd be able to see the baby and heartbeat before I went to the doctor.  I went in for my first appointment at 7 weeks and 2 days, where the normal labs and information was taken.  The doctor called back and told me that my HCG levels were huge.  She felt that  I was either further along or that I was pregnant with multiples.  My heart raced with excitement.  My labs were fantastic.  I wanted to be excited, but I was still scared.  She ordered an ultrasound for the very next morning.  I went to bed feeling blessed and thankful and overwhelmed with joy.

The next morning I woke up early and headed off to my ultrasound appointment.  I laid down on the table, anxiously awaiting the moment when I'd hear our babies heartbeat for the first time.  The ultrasound tech took all of her normal measurements before announcing that she could see the fetal pole.  She paused. You are measuring 6 weeks and 3 days, she said. She continued, I do not see a heartbeat.

I honestly felt a bit numb at that moment.  My previous miscarriages were what are called blighted ovums, where a gestational sac or sacs are present, but a baby isn't present.  This time a baby was present.  One that grew for only 6 weeks and 3 days and just stopped growing.  My doctors office called a bit later and explained that I should expect to miscarry yet again.

I cannot begin to pretend that I was not disappointed.  I even, for a week or two thought that somehow they were wrong.  You'd understand why I felt this way had I already blogged the story of my pregnancy with Hayden.  As disappointed as I was and really still kind of am I know that and believe that everything truly happens for a reason.  This little one was not meant to be.  It is just that simple and I will accept it for what it is.

Please forgive me if I have seemed unproductive in my posts.  I have taken the time necessary to wrap my head around all of this.  Now, I am back. Thanks for stickin' by me through thick and thin.  I truly love my readers, whether you are family, friends or folks who are simply joining me on my journey.

I Love Him, But Sometimes He Seriously Must be on Crack!

I am grouchy today.

Why, you ask?

I am grouchy because I love my husband with all of my heart and soul, but sometimes he is seriously on crack!  When I go grocery shopping I buy the staple items that we use to make our regular meals, I buy a few healthy treats here and there.  Sometimes beforehand we discuss trying a new recipe and I pick up those items.  I am pretty much thorough in my grocery shopping.  That being said, there are "those days", you know the days that you suddenly find yourself staring at a pantry and refrigerator that are both filled with plenty of yummy things; none of which you desire to eat at all.  Today was "that" day.  I looked at my selections.  They were plentiful, but the very idea of eating any of it made my tummy turn.  I felt physically ill when I thought of eating any of it.  Instead, I wanted egg rolls.  I don't buy egg rolls.  We rarely eat them.  Today, however that is all that sounded good to me.

I texted my darling husband to ask him if  he could pick some up from the store on his way home from work.  He kindly told me that I should plan out our menus a bit better.  Wait!  What?  

I know.  I know.  There are some of you exceptionally gifted women who plan out monthly menus and do not waiver from what the menu says.  I simply am not that exceptional in that department.  I rarely have much of an appetite, especially not one that is so perfectly spot-on that I can write out a menu of what I'd like to eat exactly three days from now, not to mention four weeks from now.  And, today, at this very moment I want egg rolls.

Egg rolls!

Egg rolls!

Egggggggggg ROLLLLLLLLLS!

If I were a persnickety toddler you better believe I would have thrown myself onto the floor, pouted and screamed those last few lines.

Please tell me I am not alone on this one and that there are a million more of you who want certain things on a crazy whim, that could not have been predicted a month ago.

Tookie's Gets Rave Reviews!!

Our long awaited, much anticipated visit to Tookie's scored high marks from my husband, kiddos and of course myself.  We've been putting off our visit to this long-time favorite eatery since its grand opening, because as a family of six with a wheelchair bound kiddo who is often a wee bit on the loud side doesn't bode well in overly crowded restaurants.  We also try to visit during "off hours" so that in case Tori becomes a little vocal we are certain to NOT interrupt other diners.

Allow me to take a step back and bring a few of you up to speed.

My sister and I used to accompany our family to Tookie's when we were knee-high to ducklings.  I can remember the way Tookie's smelled as soon as we walked through the doors as the smell of handmade burgers greeted you.  I can vividly remember the decor which was very familiar to what you'd see Picker's picking from yard sales and their like -- Old light posts, street lights (One in particular featured a blue light).  I loved the feeling as a kid.  I loved seeing the beads of sweat form on my dad's head as he'd savor every bite of the spicy Stomp's Icehouse burger.  I knew that thing just had to be hot and have yet to take that one on (although last night I was tempted).  Let's put aside the fabulous burgers and get right to the onion rings for just a second.  These are by far the best onion rings that I had ever experienced as a child.

Along came hurricane Ike a few years ago, which engulfed Tookie's, a low-lying restaurant nestled in the coastal town of Seabrook, Texas  with what must've been four to five feet of water.  The doors swung closed and NEVER reopened for what seemed like way too long.  I suppose the old owner's were consumed and overwhelmed by the massive undertaking that putting everything back together again must've been.  In steps Barry Terrell, who clearly had a vision of bringing this staple eatery back to life.  Work was underway and the building was gutted and rebuilt, while still lending itself to shed the same vibe that it always did.  The Tookie's yellow and green still greets each guests the way it always did and the doors swung open for business.

We'd pass by countless times after the grand opening.  Each time the parking lot was PACKED.  Cars and people wrapped around the building.  You could feel the love and just knew that everything had to be just as delicious as it once was. 

Last night was THE  NIGHT.  We arrived at nearly eight o'clock, well past the rush of the dinner crowd, entered the building and were greeted in perfect Tookie's fashion.  Whisked off to our table, the smells that I remembered as a child wafted up to greet each of us.  Vicki, our server greeted us promptly.  Service was fantastic and the food was beyond amazing. Everyone picked their burger of choice very quickly, while I was stuck on my choice.  Did I choose the #99?  Did I dare to try the Stomp's Icehouse burger in honor of my dad who passed away a couple of years ago and would never savor that burger again?  Ultimately I could not resist the BBQ burger.  Folks, I made the perfect choice and was beyond satisfied.  There is something to be said for a fabulous burger, terrific onion rings, both enjoyed in a laid back atmosphere that takes you back to your childhood days.

I must say that, with over twenty-five years combined in the restaurant industry my husband and I aren't easily impressed with most of our dining experiences.  In this instance, however everything was spot on. 

If you haven't visited Tookie's since its reopening today's the day and if today won't work, go tomorrow.  Suffice to say we'll be back again and again and again and again......


(We actually dined at Tookie's last week.  It was just brought to my attention that this post did not publish accordingly to my blog.  Good news, the burgers, fries and onion rings are still fabulous, stop reading, start driving!!)

Things that make you go, "HMMMMMM!"

This is a VERY true conversation I just had with an ordinarily EXTREMELY bright teenage boy who is the son of a friend of mine.  I have known this child for literally ALL of his life and he is a staple in our home, so when I say he is bright, I am not making it up and I didn't just hear it second hand.

Their family was heading our way for a planned dinner and family game night this evening.  Apparently while out running errands he dozed off in the car.  One final stop before making their way here was to stop by their house.  My friend ran into the house while her son was still napping in the car.  I called to let them know when dinner would be ready, but was unable to reach my friend, so I decided I'd call her son. 

When he answered he explained that he was in the car and that he'd apparently fallen asleep.
I told him to go in and let his mom know that dinner would be ready in about twenty minutes.
He said he couldn't get out of the car.
I said, "What?".
"The doors are locked.", he replied.
Unlock the door and open the door.", I said.
Him - "I can't.
Me - "What do you mean you can't?"
Him - "The alarm will go off."
Me - "Uhm, okay your mom has the keys, who cares if the alarm goes off.  She can turn it off."
Him - "I'll just stay in the car."
Me - "Uhm, okay.  I'll see you guys in a bit."

Please, Dear Lord tell me that he was sleep talking!  LOL!  What a nut -- A very bright nut!!

Things that make you go, "HMMMMMM!"

This is a VERY true conversation I just had with an ordinarily EXTREMELY bright teenage boy who is the son of a friend of mine.  I have known this child for literally ALL of his life and he is a staple in our home, so when I say he is bright, I am not making it up and I didn't just hear it second hand.

Their family was heading our way for a planned dinner and family game night this evening.  Apparently while out running errands he dozed off in the car.  One final stop before making their way here was to stop by their house.  My friend ran into the house while her son was still napping in the car.  I called to let them know when dinner would be ready, but was unable to reach my friend, so I decided I'd call her son. 

When he answered he explained that he was in the car and that he'd apparently fallen asleep.
I told him to go in and let his mom know that dinner would be ready in about twenty minutes.
He said he couldn't get out of the car.
I said, "What?".
"The doors are locked.", he replied.
Unlock the door and open the door.", I said.
Him - "I can't.
Me - "What do you mean you can't?"
Him - "The alarm will go off."
Me - "Uhm, okay your mom has the keys, who cares if the alarm goes off.  She can turn it off."
Him - "I'll just stay in the car."
Me - "Uhm, okay.  I'll see you guys in a bit."

Please, Dear Lord tell me that he was sleep talking!  LOL!  What a nut -- A very bright nut!!

Hopes Versus Dreams

Dreams.

Tiny magical goals that we aspire to achieve.

--What we imagine as our destiny.

The voids that we desire to make whole.

A sequence of events that we envision.

Yet dreams are nothing without hope.

Hope.

Hope is the emotion that propels us forward.

Hope fuels our desires to continue the journey and make our dreams a reality.

Hope is deeply rooted within each of us -- in the fibers that make us who we are.

Hope enables greatness and the ability to conquer fears.

In the absence of hope, we needn't really dream.

Hope is the sustenance that nourishes perseverance.

Without hope we'd be empty.

Without dreams we'd be lost.

 

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2012

Turns out us moms DO know what we're talking about....

Obviously as parents we set rules, boundaries and guidelines that are tailored to fit our own lifestyles, goals and ideals.  Some are complex while other are plain and simple, cut and dry.  Some of them are no-brainers that we find ourselves repeating until we are nearly blue in the face.  Of course kids forget them, hence the need to reiterate them over and over until we'd really just like to walk away banging our heads on the wall wondering how in the world they'd forgotten the rule.  One of those quirky little rules around our house is NO electronic devices, games or toys at the dinner table during a meal.  I view this one as a no-brainer, yet my kids forget this one all to often.

This morning, as breakfast drew to a close Hayden announced that he was getting full.  I took a glance at his plate and told him to eat one more bite of his eggs before leaving the table.  He stabbed a bite of his eggs with his fork, held it up and turned the bite toward his mouth.  Before eating the bite I told him that if that was his idea of a bite then he'd need two of those.  The bite quickly detoured back to his plate.  With even more enthusiasm he stabbed another bite of eggs, a larger, less formed bite -- a bite that when he rose it into the air the scrambled eggs went flying.  Drew, who was seated next to Hayden didn't even know what was coming before the eggs simultaneously hit him in the face and splatted all over his iPod.

The joys of parenting!  I couldn't help but laugh at what happened and I am pretty positive that Andrew realized why the "No devices, games or toys at the table rule" exists in our house.  You never can tell when to expect flying eggs around this house.

Conversations with Kids ~ Valentine's Edition

Me - Hayden, will you be my Valentine?

Hayden - (Looking perplexed) No.

Me - But monkey if you aren't my Valentine I can't buy you chocolates on Valentine's Day.

Hayden - Momma, I'll be your kissy monkey and your Valentine.

Me - Awe, Monkey you just made my day.


Love is in the Air

I have to admit that I am a complete sucker for decorating, especially when it comes to decorating for various holidays.  With Valentine's day fast approaching I thought it only fitting to share a little love with you.

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I thought about making some blocks like these, but the lo and behold, while strolling through the dollar section area of target I came across these blocks for $2.50.  As much fun as making the blocks with the kids would have been I took the easy way out, plopped these puppies into my cart and reaped the reward of instant gratification! 

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Valentine's Day at our house wouldn't be complete without our Valentine's Day tree.  I kind of look at it as a step-down program from our four plus trees at Christmastime.  And yes, we literally remove the Christmas decorations only to replace them with the Valentine's decorations.  

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The tree obviously needed garland, but I wasn't quite feeling those shiny metallic heart strands that are readily accessible in most stores this time of year.    I absolutely love shabby chic and thought that a ribbon garland would be absolutely PERFECT.  It was also easy to have little hands help with this project.  I simply cut a length of ribbon about four feet long, then cut smaller ribbon with pinking shears for the kids to tie on one by one.

I love the shabby whimsy of it and think it looks just fabulous on the tree.

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I heart Valentine's Day!!! 

Pin It

I'm Ba-ack!!!

Unfortunately last week my computer nearly died what would have been a slow, agonizing death had it not been for my tech-y husband who began resuscitation immediately and was able to one day at a time, one click at a time revive my computer.  Unfortunately that meant a rude interruption from my blogging days.  I tried to post from my new phone, however there are some things that are just impossible to do from your phone.

....Speaking of new phone, I finally detached myself from my ever-faithful Blackberry.  In the last few months I was becoming more and more disappointed with the applications available, the tortoise-like pace, the dropped calls and the calls and e-mails that sometimes NEVER went through.  Let me not forget to mention the voicemails that would come through a week late.  Talk about being tardy to the party!  I realized that the only real reason I was holding on to my Blackberry and not moving forward with a new phone was because I REALLY, REALLY, REALLLLLLY love having a keypad, you know buttons that you can depress versus an entirely touch screen phone.  It became crystal clear that there was no reason to keep the phone simply for the convenience of having buttons.  

I DID it!

I committed to change and I LOVE it.  Seriously, why did I not make the change a LONG time ago?  I love the new functions and Apps.  I love the fact that my phone has a slide-out keypad that allows me the option to use it or not.  There are only a few minor complaints that I have regarding some of the phones functions, but they are honestly so petty that I won't even bother to blog about them.

I am so glad to be back and can't wait to share some of my recent projects with you guys!

Sitting at the Dock of the Bay



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You just can't help but hum a little Otis Redding

Sitting at the Dock of the Bay

Sitting in the morning sun
I'll be sitting when the evening comes
Watching the ships roll in
And I watch 'em roll away again

[Refrain]
Sitting on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
I'm just sitting on the dock of the bay
Wasting time

I left my home in Georgia
Headed for the 'Frisco bay
'Cause I had nothin to live for
And look like nothing's gonna come my way

So I'm just...
[Refrain]

Look like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same

Sittin here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home

Now, I'm just... 


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This is for the Birds!

A few days ago I was preparing a snack for my kiddos when I heard all of this commotion outside.  I went over to look out the window when I saw a huge swarm of birds flying through the yard.  I am talking hundreds if not a thousand birds.  It was absolutely NUTS!

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I grabbed my camera, adjusted the settings and tip-toed to the back door.  As soon as I opened the door the flock flew off.

I waited a few minutes, in hopes that the birds would return.

In no time my yard, along with my neighbors yards were filled with birds again.

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As soon as I opened the door the birds flew off.

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....and only a few remained.

Out With the Old and In With the New

Yesterday we finally dedicated the day to taking down our Christmas trees and Christmas decorations (Four Christmas trees, wreaths galore, bows, pictures,  Christmas chotchkies , lights, crafts....all of it....well...except one tiny thing  that I'll show you tomorrow).  It is a lengthy process to de-Christmas, but one I never mind doing because I love the looks on our kids faces when we transform our home into their Christmas Wonderland.   Their future spouses won't even believe it when they begin to describe their childhood Christmases and I am totally up for demonstrating.    Seeing is believing!!! 

Of course when some decorations are tucked neatly into their storage boxes it is time to decorate all over again.  Bring on Valentine's Day, sweethearts!

Evening Entertainment Courtesy of the Coast Guard

You can most definitely distinguish  the sounds of the helicopters that fly over head here and the front door always peaks your curiosity when you hear the sound of the coast guard helicopters that linger about.  Fortunately they are usually performing drills, which we all love to watch.

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I remember when I was a little girl hearing stories of how my dad wanted so badly to join the Coast Guard, but because he was a diabetic he was unable to join them.  That had to be completely frustrating, especially because of how skilled a captain he was.

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The seagulls are always appreciative when the wind from the propellers creates a disturbance in the water.  It reminds me of that scene from finding Nemo, "Mine, mine, no mine, mine, mine."  These hungry gulls sure had an easy meal this evening.

The Lone Fisherman


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I woke up and glanced out at the bay.
I love days like this.
Where tiny ripples delicately dance as far as the eye can see
And
Where the horizon melts into the sea.
Where colors blend from one fabulous shade into the next.
Where the clouds begin to take their shape long before they are high in the midday sky.
Where fishermen are sparse -- As a lone fishermen casts his troubles away.
Catching more than early morning rays.
The brisk breeze on a crisp, cool morn.
The engine awakes and off he scurries to where the horizon meets the sea.

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2012

Breakfast Discussion


This morning as I was serving the kids their breakfast Hannah initiated a conversation regarding the new year and how old everyone would be turning this year.  I stopped for a moment, listening as she rattled off the numbers, "So I will be eight, Tori will be eleven, Hayden will be five and Andrew will be thirteen.", she announced! 

Whoa! 

Whoa! 

Whoa! 

Hold it right there!

I demand a recount!

My first baby will be...th-th-thhhh-thirteen?!

Certainly not?!

Right?!

{SIGH}

Yes, yes he will be.  I recalculated the math...just in case she was horribly wrong on ALL accounts.

I remember my childhood taking what seemed like FOREVER, yet somehow watching my children grow seems like it is literally happening overnight.

As for this moment, this VERY moment right now I will cuddle with them (because they all still love cuddling with their Momma),  and I will savor right now, just as I always have because I have a feeling that this very topic of birthdays and ages will be replayed time and time again as my babies grow older each day.

Daily Resolution

Resolve  to  find  passion  so deep  that  it rocks  your  soul.  ...Then nurture it.  Embrace  it.  Enjoy it.

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2012

I could not imagine my life without my hubs and babies.  I pray that you all have someone, or many in your life that make you whole.

Daily Resolution

Resolve  to  laugh  every  single  day.  Good,  hearty  belly  laughs  are  the  best.

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2012

Daily Resolution


Resolve  to  be  great.  Greatness  can  be  found   in  abundance  within  each  of  us.

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2011

Daily Resolution


Resolve  to  claim  your  destiny.

 

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2011

Daily Resolution


Resolve   to  live  in harmony.

Resolve  to  love.

 

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2011

I Didn't Fall Into "that" Trap This Year!

This time of the year is by far one of my favorites.  The family time, the decorations, festivities, Christmas movies, music, food,  more decorations, lights, crafts......

I truly love every moment of it, other than that feeling you get after you have loaded yourself with a plethora of junk foods, processed foods, foods high in saturated fat and sugar, or worse, the foods that contain a ton of artificial ingredients.  In years past we happily joined along in the Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts.  I've been cooking those HUGE meals for the last thirteen plus years, happily slaving away in the kitchen.  A light bulb turned on in my head this year...an epiphany of sorts....  Why the heck do people feel the need to binge on these holiday favorites when they are available all year long?  Sure, some things might be seasonal, so enjoy those very favorite items in moderation.  I physically cannot marathon-eat like some folks.  We are most definitely grazers here. 

Before Christmas this year I took a family poll.  I wanted to know what everyone's favorite food was at Christmastime.  Without skipping a beat I had two very strong votes for sausage cheese balls, my homemade mashed potatoes and gravy and cookies.  DONE!  That was what I prepared this Christmas, along with our usual whole fruits and veggies.  I must say that not one of us felt miserable throughout the day and all of us enjoyed our Christmas that much more because instead of spending hours in the kitchen we enjoyed even more hours together. 

I am all for Christmas and holiday traditions.  Rest assured this is one tradition I plan to uphold.

I Wish You.....

I Wish You.....

 

I wish you joy

...and peace.

Love

...and laughter.

I wish you happiness.

A cup that is always half-full.

I wish you all better than the best.

I wish you gorgeous sunrises...

and spectacular sunsets.

Inspiration and excitement.

Patience and understanding.

Times that are not trying.

Health.

I wish for your dreams to come true.

These, my blessed family and friends are my deepest wishes for you.

 

From our home to yours I'd like to wish you all a beautiful Christmas and Blessed New Year.

Love and Hugs,

Stephanie

Christmas Spirit


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Hayden and Hannah joined me as I ran a quick errand to pick up packing supplies to mail their cousins gifts.  It was such a quick trip, in fact that I was surprised that they wanted to join me.  While we were in the store I took note of a petite old lady who was shopping around, her back curved over the cart.  I caught myself crossing her path a few times in the store,each time thinking about my Grandma.  Their stature, her smile that she returned each time I smiled at her --The way she smiled at my babies.  As I approached the check out I realized that she was in front of me.  As I looked up from talking to the kids I realized that another lady was with her who was helping her lift her purchases from the cart and onto the register.  At first glance she reminded me of my husbands Grandma. We exchanged smiles and I went on to pay for my items before heading out to the car.  I put our bags into the car, then helped the kids into their seats.  As I walked toward the back of the car, the elderly lady who reminded me of my grandma approached me with a bag in her hand.  I didn't open it, but could tell by the size and shape that she had purchased a toy for one of my babies.  As quickly as she handed it to me she turned to walk away, without speaking a word.  Tears filled my eyes.  I said, "Wait, please, he'll want to say thank you.".  She turned around, put her finger to her mouth as if to say, "Shhhhhhh!".  I, of course said thank you as made her way back to her car.  It was everything I could do in that very moment to keep from bawling.  What a beautiful moment, where I was reminded of two very special women in our lives as well as witnessing the very essence of the Christmas spirit.  

Super Easy Santa Ornaments

Every year the kids and I love making Christmas ornaments together.  Each year we look for new and different ornaments to make.  The inspiration for these Santa ornaments came from some gift tags that I saw one year while Christmas shopping.

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To make these adorable little ornaments you'll need:

Thick poster board in the color of your choice.  (I used white because I already had white on hand)
Red felt (The stiff kind is great for small hands)
Cotton balls
Craft Glue (I like Alene's craft glue for projects like this)
Scissors
Santa's coat template (Or you can opt to free hand as I did here.  This is a very forgiving project)
Ribbon
A Sharpie (To write your kiddos name and year that you made each ornament on the back)

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I cut our the poster board in the shape of Santa's coat, then used the poster board as a template to cut out the felt.  While I worked on that my kiddos pull apart pieces of cotton balls to use for the "fur" on Santa's coat.  Next we laid out the pieces and the kiddos glued them accordingly.  Be sure to glue your ribbon (cut at your desired length) to glue in between the poster board layer and the felt layer.  Allow to drive overnight, just to be on the safe side then decorate away!

The Lady Who is Dressed in Blue

The lady who is dressed in blue

She sits in the corner and she is watching you

A smile on her face

and a pink flower tucked in her hair

The lady who is dressed in blue

She is  watching you

....watching over you...

....Watching over you

Caught between this life and the next...

She purposefully sits in the corner

She sits there watching over you...

Continuing to watch when you are out just out of view...

Keeping watch as you play and when you are tucked into your bed each night.

That lady who is dressed in blue

with a pink flower in her hair has sworn to watching you

protecting you...

In the very same way she watches me too.

The way she always watched me...

The way she always protected me.

In her loving arms, no longer tangible

...she holds your hand as you journey through this life.

All from that corner where she sits in her chair

...watching you...

...protecting you...

I Totally Duped Them This Time!

Like most mommas, I have a picky eater on my hands.  My picky eater has a little brother who totally looks up to her.  For the record, Hannah hasn't always been so picky but in recent years she has decided that when we have spaghetti she prefers hers sans sauce of any kind.  Honestly, if she prefers plain pasta then it really isn't that big of a deal, except I'd hate for her taste buds to live a sheltered little existence. 

Tonight we were having pasta alfredo, black olives and fresh baked bread.  I decided that I'd play a little tricky-poo on my two youngest kiddos.  I served their plates, each with plain pasta, olives, bread and "dipping sauce" for their bread.  Internet -- You should have seen these two kids gobble up their bread with dipping sauce!

MMMM!

Yum!

This is soooo good mom!

Yummy!

Did I tell them it was the same sauce they usually turn their noses up to, you might ask.

Heck-to-the-no I didn't!

I Totally Duped Them This Time!

Like most mommas, I have a picky eater on my hands.  My picky eater has a little brother who totally looks up to her.  For the record, Hannah hasn't always been so picky but in recent years she has decided that when we have spaghetti she prefers hers sans sauce of any kind.  Honestly, if she prefers plain pasta then it really isn't that big of a deal, except I'd hate for her taste buds to live a sheltered little existence. 

Tonight we were having pasta alfredo, black olives and fresh baked bread.  I decided that I'd play a little tricky-poo on my two youngest kiddos.  I served their plates, each with plain pasta, olives, bread and "dipping sauce" for their bread.  Internet -- You should have seen these two kids gobble up their bread with dipping sauce!

MMMM!

Yum!

This is soooo good mom!

Yummy!

Did I tell them it was the same sauce they usually turn their noses up to, you might ask.

Heck-to-the-no I didn't!

Don't We All Have Moments Like This?

I am typically an extremely happy person.  I view the cup of life half-full because life has taught me that there isn't really time to view it as half-empty.  I make each moment count and try to always keep looking forward.

This brings me to this morning.  I really, I mean REALLY wanted to throw a child-sized fit; you know the ones where your parents threaten to take you out to the car if you are in the middle of a store.  It was foolish, in retrospect, but my morning wasn't playing out as I had planned.

Before my plans were foiled I had a discussion with one of my kiddos, who asked for something very specific for Christmas.  I told my hubs about this particular item a couple of months ago, but with the packing and moving we never ordered the item.  I shopped around for said item that was available online for $19.99 a few months ago.  Now the item is selling for $50.00 to $80.00 (not including rush delivery) on auction sites.  I refuse to pay that, but for half a second this morning I nearly caved.  A friend reminded me what the sane thing to do was.  After that discussion I felt oh-so-much-better and NO!, I absolutely did not cave to the commercial madness of Christmas gift buying.  I'll kindly wait until after Christmas when the item is back in stock (and probably available at a clearance price).  

If that ordeal wasn't bad enough (not that it was all that bad), but my plans for the day included crafting with the kids.  There were ornaments and decorations to make with my babies.  Several months ago I bought the supplies and tucked them carefully into a box to bring from our old house to our new house.  They arrived in perfect shape after the move, and I put them somewhere safe.  That somewhere safe was so safe, in fact that I cannot, for the life of me remember where that safe place was.  If you have any ideas, please feel free to let me know so I can go look for them.  Suffice to say that our craft day was postponed until I can put my hands on that box or until I re-purchase my goodies.

I realized that these 'troubles' that I was having are so trivial and minute compared to what some people are going through right now.  It reminded me to count my blessings, keep my head up, not throw a child-sized fit and continue to view my cup as half-full.

....EVEN if I really did want to sulk momentarily and stomp my feet down the hall.....

BFF for Your Hands and Feet


The cool weather and the use of heaters sure has a way of wreaking havoc on our skin.  I tried many products but I must admit that my very favorite product for my feet is Burt's Bees Hand Salve.

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After a nice, hot shower I lather my feet, paying particular attention to my heels with Burt's Bees Hand Salve before slipping on a cozy pair of socks.  

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My feet thank me and I am certain that yours will too!

Blast from the past -- Old Mirror gets a New Life

About eight or nine years ago my mother-in-law asked me what I'd like for my birthday that year. We just so happened to be walking around the mall at the time.  I knew that I had been searching for a mirror for my dining room, but the 'right' one just hadn't caught my eye at the time.  As luck would have it I went into the Kirkland's store that was in the mall.  I was drawn to this mirror that was seriously ugly, I mean U-G-L-Y!  All caps kind of UGLY!  It was black with gold leafing kind of UGLY.

And, do you know what else it was?

It was on clearance....  Half off of it's original price, to be exact.

I immediately got past the ugly and saw the real potential in this mirror.  Obviously it came home with me!

My sister was coming into town and I just knew that she'd refinish the mirror with me.  We went to work and what was once the ugly duckling had become beautiful.  Paint truly does work miracles and wonders, I am convinced of this.

We continued to love that mirror for years....and then there was that fateful day when, as we were packing our things and touch-painting walls and things of that nature my lovely mirror took a nose-dive off of the wall.  The mirror didn't take the fall well, but the frame surely did.   I went back and forth with whether I wanted to have beveled glass cut and put back into the frame or whether I wanted to change things up a bit.  

Change can be a very nice thing, so I decided to side with change.   After purchasing a few key materials and a few cuts with my husbands circular saw my mirror was transformed into a chalkboard.

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I love to leave little messages for my family that either make them laugh, inspire or remind them how much they mean to me.


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Such an easy project that truly speaks volumes!!! 

Curbside Cabinet Makeover

One night, in the midnight hours my phone rings.  A friend begins to tell me about a cabinet that she saw on the side of the road and how pretty this cabinet was.  She's adamant that this thing won't be there, that someone will surely pick this cabinet up.  I make the rational decision to NOT venture out, trailer in tow to pick up this cabinet.  

The very next day she drove down the street where she saw the cabinet.  It was still there and don't think for half a second that she was going to let me leave it there.  She was so positive that this cabinet was a keeper that she drove over to my house where we headed off together to check it out.  

We pulled up to the curb where this cabinet had been ditched.  I gave it a glance and started envisioning the possibilities for this cabinet.  The first thing that came to mind was a storage cabinet for our bathroom.  It had great lines and it was a very solid piece.  Then I looked a bit more closely.  The veneer was cracked and lifting all over the place.  It would take some serious work.

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The door obviously had an embellishment or mirror of sorts attached in between the mill work pieces.  The mill work pieces were part of what sealed the deal for me.  I have also learned that things that look like total crud can be polished to look like a diamond in the rough.

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I peeled veneer.

I filled the areas that needed wood filler.

I cleaned.

I nailed trim.

I gorilla glued.

I sanded.

I cleaned some more.

I primed.

I painted.


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And then miraculously the cabinet that someone had discarded suddenly began to shine a little.

Then I measured my space above our toilet.

....And I measured the cabinet.  (Notice things were a little bit out of order there?!)

Lo and behold the cabinet exceeded the amount of space I had.  

In a pinch I decided to use the buffet that I refinished to set the cabinet on (just outside the bathroom) to nicely contain all of the things that normally fit into a linen closet.

It works surprisingly well, but that was a fine lesson in measuring your spaces FIRST. 

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Although this cabinet is finished for the moment, you should certainly stay tuned because I do believe that this cabinet is about to undergo another transformation.

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It, of course needed a touch of class.  Glass knobs always do the trick for me.  ALWAYS!


Kids Table Makeover

We have had this adorable little table for the kids since Andrew and Tori were little.  For some reason I could never quite bid it a fond farewell, although I must admit that in recent weeks the scratches and marks from its overuse became more and more apparent.  With the holidays fast approaching I nearly wrote this little table off for good.  If you know me, you might recall my mad hoarding skills, so of course the thought of getting rid of it was but a fleeting thought.  
 
&copy;LittleInsights


&copy;LittleInsights

Instead of passing it along I decided that a new design was in order. I gathered my supplies and ideas and off to work I went.  I couldn't be happier with the way this table turned out. I also LOVE the way the grey looks against the fabulous "misty surf" that we chose to spruce up the dining room walls!

&copy;LittleInsights


Blessed and Thankful

Tonight as I sit here, a turkey ready to be placed into the oven, the ingredients for all of our favorite holiday recipes waiting in an organized line before their preparation I sit here feeling thankful and blessed. 

I am thankful for my family, for my friends, for the men and women who serve our country each and every day.  As I sit across the table from my family I will certainly remember those who are protecting our country so that we can enjoy many-a-holiday in the comforts of our home in a land that is protected by the brave men and women who are willing to sacrifice all to protect us.  I am thinking of the families that sit around their tables absent a loved one as they serve our country.

I pray that each of you finds even the simplest things to be thankful for this holiday season.  Without acknowledging those tiniest blessings we often miss the biggest reasons to be thankful.   May your holiday seasons be happy a bright.

Seven Days of Thanks - Part II

Day 1- Today I am thankful for technology -- For the ability to connect with someone who is thousands of miles away at the click of a button.

Day 2 - I am giving thanks today for good health.

Day 3 - I am thankful for my nearly endless energy.  Thank the good Lord for it, because I love to hit the ground running ever morning and make use of every second of every day.

Day 4 - I am thankful for nature --Sunrises and sunsets never cease to take my breath away.

Day 5 - I am appreciative of my husbands dedication to us, his family and to my endless honey-do list.

Day 6 - I am thankful for you, my readers who join me on my crazy adventures of motherhood, marriage, homeschooling and beyond!!!

Day 7 - I am thankful for every-night-is-date-night with my husband.  There's no place I'd rather be.

Parental FAIL! Oh the Devastation.....

So, yesterday Hannah writes a letter to the tooth fairy (She prefers dictating versus writing so this was a HUGE deal)- Her letter reads:

 

Dear Tooth Fairy,

Tonight I want gold coins please.  The tooth was really hard to get out and it hurt a lot.

Thank you very much.

 

Love,

Hannah

 

(After work yesterday my husband made a special trip to the bank to retrieve said "GOLD COINS".)

Last night I was wrapping up a few last minute projects after we had tucked the kids into their beds, therefore I was the last one into the shower.  While in the shower, I asked my hubs if all of the kids were asleep. When he told me that we officially had four sleeping kiddos I reminded him about that "THING" that we needed to do.  You know....that thing where he gracefully slips into his set of tooth fairy wings, flutters down the hall and slips "GOLD COINS" into the pocket of one particular tooth fairy pillow, removes the aforementioned letter and tooth and flutters ever so delicately out of the room without making a peep.

I shall give you one guess what never happened last night.

The tooth fairy didn't come!

[GASP] What?! 

Hannah scurried down the ladder of her bunk bed, and into the living room with her tooth in hand, "Mom, the tooth fairy didn't come."

What?

"The tooth fairy didn't come." [With a very long face and look of devastation.]

Thank goodness I was thinking on my toes....

"Did I remember to tell you to put the tooth nearest the elephant and gently rub?", I asked her.

"No.", she replied as she scurried off to grab her tooth fairy elephant pillow.

We rearranged the tooth in the pocket, rubbed it gently and have officially set it out...AGAIN for the tooth fairy to grace us with her presence this evening!  I think I'll be dusting off my wings this evening.  That look of devastation just about killed me this morning! 

Seven Days of Thanks (Part 1)

Day 1 - Today I am thankful for by husband who loves me unconditionally, knows me better than any other person in the entire world, serves as my husband, lover, best friend, confidant, soul mate, partner.......

Day 2 - I am thankful for my four absolutely beautiful and wonderful blessings-my babies.  I could not imagine my life without my children.  I pray that in this lifetime I can teach them at least half of what they have taught me.

Day 3 - I am thankful  for my family and friends.  For laughter and tears and laughter to the point of tears.

Day 4 - I am thankful for my cameras and for the fact that I am able to capture memories of a small moment in time that will last forever.

Day 5 - I am thankful for paint!!   Yes, I said it, I AM thankful for paint.  I love to create something new out of something old.  Time and time again, over and over I am in awe of the magical powers of paint.

Day 6 - I am thankful  for music.

Day 7 - I am thankful for belly laughs....big hearty belly laughs....

Who's Got the "Gold Coins"?

Tonight, while having dinner Hannah tells me that she REALLY wants her 2nd top front tooth out because it HuRRRRRts.  I console her, as any mom would and tell her that it will be out soon.  Without skipping a beat my friend who was visiting proceeds to tell her about other children who are receiving "gold coins" for their teeth.  HOLY CRAP!  Talk about putting a mom and dad on the spot.  I haven't any Sacagawea coins handy at the moment.  Not only do I not have them readily available at this hour , the last time I requested some from the local bank they hadn't a clue what I was talking about.  Yes....Seriously....the teller hadn't a clue what a Sacagawea dollar was!  Now, as she sits here praying for her tooth to fall out and for the tooth fairy to bring her "gold coins", I am dusting off my tooth fairy wings and praying like crazy that the tooth doesn't fall out until I can get my hands on a few Sacagawea dollars! 

Better yet, I think I should add up all of the teeth that are yet to be lost so I can just keep that number of coins on hand.....

Hoarder! Packrat! Museum Curator! Collector, Oh My!!

I wish I could say that I wasn't one of "THOSE" people, but I must admit that as a result of the move I am forced to unpack boxes and face the reality that at some point in my life something happened and I started to keep about 90 percent of, well, EVERYTHING!

I could literally recreate my children's nurseries because I have saved everything.  Like most things there is an event, or maybe even a series of events in life that creates the desire to save everything.  I have always been a very tactile person.  I love to recollect a memory and actually have something tangible that coincides with that memory.  One memory turns into two, which turns into a million, then ten million.  The item starts as just one, then two, then a million, then ten million items.  A shrine. An homage to my entire life and to my children's lives.

My other problem is the fact that I love upcycling and recycling old things and creating new things.  Hobby collector, perhaps?  

As I sort through this "stuff" I am finally at a point where I am embracing the stupidity and insanity of thinking that I need to keep every. single. thing.  It is really ridiculous.

I have donated tons of stuff before, believe it or not and I can't wait for the day to turn my trash into a little cash, along with donating a ton more to local charities!

What do you hoard collect?

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