littleinsights.com

I am standing here at the edge of the Earth

Where the land melts into the sea

In disbelief at what this world has come to be

Children turned beggars

Hungry.

Hun-gry.

Crying in solace

As the crops, they die

Tainted by greed

It's what lies within

The powers that be --

Their hands washed with sin

Taking bribes.

Letting businesses win

while children suffer

suffering within.

Their wretched hearts have turned to stone--

Blood runs cold.

Their blood runs cold,

with pockets filled.

Yet children starve

and do without

without a doubt.

So why should this be?

Why does this have to be?

Oh mercy,

Mercy,

Mercy me.

Why, oh why does this have to be?

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2012

On the 18th my hubs and I enjoyed a fabulous date night, complete with dinner at Kita, Japanese restaurant  (http://www.kitawoodlands.com/) where I had their fantastic Ahi Tuna Steak while my hubs chose their braised leg of lamb.  Both dishes, while as different as night and day were absolutely fabulous.  If you haven't tried them, I highly recommend popping in to try one of their many fantastic menu items.

After dinner, we enjoyed a nice walk along the Woodlands Waterway and a bottle of Dreaming Tree (http://www.dreamingtreewines.com).  All of the wines are outstanding, but our favorite has to be "Crush".  It is a warm, blended red wine that is extremely smooth on the palate an pairs easily with any meal or enjoy alone.

Opening for The Dave Matthews Band this year was Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic  Zeroes.  Although we opted for a walk and  a  glass of wine their performance was easily heard from outside the pavilion.  Their music is pretty damn good, I must admit.  If you haven't checked them out you should.

The hubs and I had a little chuckle as we waited in line to enter the pavilion as we watched everyone pass through their security.  Each person entering was asked to turn around, turn out their pockets, open their purses...  The guy in front of us was less than enthused.  To lighten the mood I told him to enjoy it, just take it all in, savor that moment. My hubs kindly reminded him that the search could involve a rubber glove.  The guy said that he thought we lived in America, land of the free.  "That was years ago, those days are gone.", I reminded him.  It is what it is. 

I love the energy in the air as Dave Matthews takes the stage.  This band plays and conveys their message with such passion and conviction.  You feel EVERY. SINGLE. beat, EVERY. SINGLE. word.  EVERY SINGLE ounce of passion that they pour into each performance. 

This years set list at Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavillion included:

Opening-

1. Big Eyed Fish

Followed by-

2. Funny the Way It Is

3.  Grace Is Gone

4.  Eh Hee

5.  Seven

6.  #41

7. Beach Ball

8.  Don't Drink the Water

9.  Mercy (First time this song was performed as a full band)

10.  Gaucho (First time this song was performed as a full band)

11.  Sweet (First time this song was performed as a full band)

12.  Crush

13.  You Never Know

14.  You and Me

15.  Stay or Leave

16.  Pantala Naga Pampa

17.  Rapunzel

Encore-

18.  Squirm

19.Grey Street

If you haven't seen DMB live, you are truly missing an amazing show.  The only concert that I have ever seen that is comparable to their show was Pink Floyd's in 1994.  You walk away from their concert wanting more.  Not because they didn't give you enough, but because their performance resonantes such energy and passion that you can never get enough.

I had to pop into Hobby Lobby for a couple items today (Yes, Hobby Lobby and just a couple of items....sad, I know) .  Anyway, I made my way to the register with my whopping four items, placed them on the counter and engaged in conversation with the cashier.  As we enjoyed our chit-chat we couldn't help but notice a foul-mouthed, lippy, nine or ten year old girl who kept smarting off to her mother.  Her mother informed her that, "It wasn't her first rodeo and that she should wait there."  (Pointing to a place away from where she was standing.)  The girl became affixed on the candy selection just within reach.  At that time she turned to her mother and said, "Hey!  Why don't you buy me one of these to shut me up?".

HOLY HELLO KITTY!  Did?  She?  Just?  Speak?  To? Her? Mother? THAT? Way???

I just kind of paused in amazement, my cashier and I both did.

I quickly picked my jaw off of the floor, gathered my bags and scurried out to the car, still stunned by the behavior and demands of that ill-mannered little girl.  Had that been me as a kid I think I would have been lucky to be able to sit down for a week after that shenanigans.  

I just knew that things would be different this time. 

I gave my body what is normally considered to be an optimal amount of time after a miscarriage before trying to conceive.

In early February my monthly visitor never arrived.  I started to feel that giddiness that you feel during early pregnancy.  I took one test, which was negative, waited a few days and took another test.  It was positive!  I want to say that I was over-the-moon excited, but I was nervous after having had a miscarriage.  After a quick discussion with my husband we decided to only tell our oldest son.  He can wrap his head around the idea that things may not work out as we'd hope and after our last miscarriage and the disappointment that the other kids felt when we lost that pregnancy we felt that it would be better to just let him know.  I felt fabulous.  The nausea was welcomed, the tiredness, the cravings and aversions, all of those feelings were welcomed.  I did, however decide to wait until I knew that we'd be able to see the baby and heartbeat before I went to the doctor.  I went in for my first appointment at 7 weeks and 2 days, where the normal labs and information was taken.  The doctor called back and told me that my HCG levels were huge.  She felt that  I was either further along or that I was pregnant with multiples.  My heart raced with excitement.  My labs were fantastic.  I wanted to be excited, but I was still scared.  She ordered an ultrasound for the very next morning.  I went to bed feeling blessed and thankful and overwhelmed with joy.

The next morning I woke up early and headed off to my ultrasound appointment.  I laid down on the table, anxiously awaiting the moment when I'd hear our babies heartbeat for the first time.  The ultrasound tech took all of her normal measurements before announcing that she could see the fetal pole.  She paused. You are measuring 6 weeks and 3 days, she said. She continued, I do not see a heartbeat.

I honestly felt a bit numb at that moment.  My previous miscarriages were what are called blighted ovums, where a gestational sac or sacs are present, but a baby isn't present.  This time a baby was present.  One that grew for only 6 weeks and 3 days and just stopped growing.  My doctors office called a bit later and explained that I should expect to miscarry yet again.

I cannot begin to pretend that I was not disappointed.  I even, for a week or two thought that somehow they were wrong.  You'd understand why I felt this way had I already blogged the story of my pregnancy with Hayden.  As disappointed as I was and really still kind of am I know that and believe that everything truly happens for a reason.  This little one was not meant to be.  It is just that simple and I will accept it for what it is.

Please forgive me if I have seemed unproductive in my posts.  I have taken the time necessary to wrap my head around all of this.  Now, I am back. Thanks for stickin' by me through thick and thin.  I truly love my readers, whether you are family, friends or folks who are simply joining me on my journey.

Our long awaited, much anticipated visit to Tookie's scored high marks from my husband, kiddos and of course myself.  We've been putting off our visit to this long-time favorite eatery since its grand opening, because as a family of six with a wheelchair bound kiddo who is often a wee bit on the loud side doesn't bode well in overly crowded restaurants.  We also try to visit during "off hours" so that in case Tori becomes a little vocal we are certain to NOT interrupt other diners.

Allow me to take a step back and bring a few of you up to speed.

My sister and I used to accompany our family to Tookie's when we were knee-high to ducklings.  I can remember the way Tookie's smelled as soon as we walked through the doors as the smell of handmade burgers greeted you.  I can vividly remember the decor which was very familiar to what you'd see Picker's picking from yard sales and their like -- Old light posts, street lights (One in particular featured a blue light).  I loved the feeling as a kid.  I loved seeing the beads of sweat form on my dad's head as he'd savor every bite of the spicy Stomp's Icehouse burger.  I knew that thing just had to be hot and have yet to take that one on (although last night I was tempted).  Let's put aside the fabulous burgers and get right to the onion rings for just a second.  These are by far the best onion rings that I had ever experienced as a child.

Along came hurricane Ike a few years ago, which engulfed Tookie's, a low-lying restaurant nestled in the coastal town of Seabrook, Texas  with what must've been four to five feet of water.  The doors swung closed and NEVER reopened for what seemed like way too long.  I suppose the old owner's were consumed and overwhelmed by the massive undertaking that putting everything back together again must've been.  In steps Barry Terrell, who clearly had a vision of bringing this staple eatery back to life.  Work was underway and the building was gutted and rebuilt, while still lending itself to shed the same vibe that it always did.  The Tookie's yellow and green still greets each guests the way it always did and the doors swung open for business.

We'd pass by countless times after the grand opening.  Each time the parking lot was PACKED.  Cars and people wrapped around the building.  You could feel the love and just knew that everything had to be just as delicious as it once was. 

Last night was THE  NIGHT.  We arrived at nearly eight o'clock, well past the rush of the dinner crowd, entered the building and were greeted in perfect Tookie's fashion.  Whisked off to our table, the smells that I remembered as a child wafted up to greet each of us.  Vicki, our server greeted us promptly.  Service was fantastic and the food was beyond amazing. Everyone picked their burger of choice very quickly, while I was stuck on my choice.  Did I choose the #99?  Did I dare to try the Stomp's Icehouse burger in honor of my dad who passed away a couple of years ago and would never savor that burger again?  Ultimately I could not resist the BBQ burger.  Folks, I made the perfect choice and was beyond satisfied.  There is something to be said for a fabulous burger, terrific onion rings, both enjoyed in a laid back atmosphere that takes you back to your childhood days.

I must say that, with over twenty-five years combined in the restaurant industry my husband and I aren't easily impressed with most of our dining experiences.  In this instance, however everything was spot on. 

If you haven't visited Tookie's since its reopening today's the day and if today won't work, go tomorrow.  Suffice to say we'll be back again and again and again and again......

(We actually dined at Tookie's last week.  It was just brought to my attention that this post did not publish accordingly to my blog.  Good news, the burgers, fries and onion rings are still fabulous, stop reading, start driving!!)

Dreams.

Tiny magical goals that we aspire to achieve.

--What we imagine as our destiny.

The voids that we desire to make whole.

A sequence of events that we envision.

Yet dreams are nothing without hope.

Hope.

Hope is the emotion that propels us forward.

Hope fuels our desires to continue the journey and make our dreams a reality.

Hope is deeply rooted within each of us -- in the fibers that make us who we are.

Hope enables greatness and the ability to conquer fears.

In the absence of hope, we needn't really dream.

Hope is the sustenance that nourishes perseverance.

Without hope we'd be empty.

Without dreams we'd be lost.

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2012

Yesterday we finally dedicated the day to taking down our Christmas trees and Christmas decorations (Four Christmas trees, wreaths galore, bows, pictures,  Christmas chotchkies , lights, crafts....all of it....well...except one tiny thing  that I'll show you tomorrow).  It is a lengthy process to de-Christmas, but one I never mind doing because I love the looks on our kids faces when we transform our home into their Christmas Wonderland.   Their future spouses won't even believe it when they begin to describe their childhood Christmases and I am totally up for demonstrating.    Seeing is believing!!! 

Of course when some decorations are tucked neatly into their storage boxes it is time to decorate all over again.  Bring on Valentine's Day, sweethearts!

This morning as I was serving the kids their breakfast Hannah initiated a conversation regarding the new year and how old everyone would be turning this year.  I stopped for a moment, listening as she rattled off the numbers, "So I will be eight, Tori will be eleven, Hayden will be five and Andrew will be thirteen.", she announced! 

Whoa! 

Whoa! 

Whoa! 

Hold it right there!

I demand a recount!

My first baby will be...th-th-thhhh-thirteen?!

Certainly not?!

Right?!

{SIGH}

Yes, yes he will be.  I recalculated the math...just in case she was horribly wrong on ALL accounts.

I remember my childhood taking what seemed like FOREVER, yet somehow watching my children grow seems like it is literally happening overnight.

As for this moment, this VERY moment right now I will cuddle with them (because they all still love cuddling with their Momma),  and I will savor right now, just as I always have because I have a feeling that this very topic of birthdays and ages will be replayed time and time again as my babies grow older each day.

Resolve  to  find  passion  so deep  that  it rocks  your  soul.  ...Then nurture it.  Embrace  it.  Enjoy it.

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2012

I could not imagine my life without my hubs and babies.  I pray that you all have someone, or many in your life that make you whole.

Resolve  to  laugh  every  single  day.  Good,  hearty  belly  laughs  are  the  best.

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2012

Resolve  to  be  great.  Greatness  can  be  found   in  abundance  within  each  of  us.

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2011

Resolve  to  claim  your  destiny.

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2011

Resolve   to  live  in harmony.

Resolve  to  love.

©Stephanie/LittleInsights2011

This time of the year is by far one of my favorites.  The family time, the decorations, festivities, Christmas movies, music, food,  more decorations, lights, crafts......

I truly love every moment of it, other than that feeling you get after you have loaded yourself with a plethora of junk foods, processed foods, foods high in saturated fat and sugar, or worse, the foods that contain a ton of artificial ingredients.  In years past we happily joined along in the Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts.  I've been cooking those HUGE meals for the last thirteen plus years, happily slaving away in the kitchen.  A light bulb turned on in my head this year...an epiphany of sorts....  Why the heck do people feel the need to binge on these holiday favorites when they are available all year long?  Sure, some things might be seasonal, so enjoy those very favorite items in moderation.  I physically cannot marathon-eat like some folks.  We are most definitely grazers here. 

Before Christmas this year I took a family poll.  I wanted to know what everyone's favorite food was at Christmastime.  Without skipping a beat I had two very strong votes for sausage cheese balls, my homemade mashed potatoes and gravy and cookies.  DONE!  That was what I prepared this Christmas, along with our usual whole fruits and veggies.  I must say that not one of us felt miserable throughout the day and all of us enjoyed our Christmas that much more because instead of spending hours in the kitchen we enjoyed even more hours together. 

I am all for Christmas and holiday traditions.  Rest assured this is one tradition I plan to uphold.

I Wish You.....

I wish you joy

...and peace.

Love

...and laughter.

I wish you happiness.

A cup that is always half-full.

I wish you all better than the best.

I wish you gorgeous sunrises...

and spectacular sunsets.

Inspiration and excitement.

Patience and understanding.

Times that are not trying.

Health.

I wish for your dreams to come true.

These, my blessed family and friends are my deepest wishes for you.

From our home to yours I'd like to wish you all a beautiful Christmas and Blessed New Year.

Love and Hugs,

Stephanie

The lady who is dressed in blue

She sits in the corner and she is watching you

A smile on her face

and a pink flower tucked in her hair

The lady who is dressed in blue

She is  watching you

....watching over you...

....Watching over you

Caught between this life and the next...

She purposefully sits in the corner

She sits there watching over you...

Continuing to watch when you are out just out of view...

Keeping watch as you play and when you are tucked into your bed each night.

That lady who is dressed in blue

with a pink flower in her hair has sworn to watching you

protecting you...

In the very same way she watches me too.

The way she always watched me...

The way she always protected me.

In her loving arms, no longer tangible

...she holds your hand as you journey through this life.

All from that corner where she sits in her chair

...watching you...

...protecting you...

Like most mommas, I have a picky eater on my hands.  My picky eater has a little brother who totally looks up to her.  For the record, Hannah hasn't always been so picky but in recent years she has decided that when we have spaghetti she prefers hers sans sauce of any kind.  Honestly, if she prefers plain pasta then it really isn't that big of a deal, except I'd hate for her taste buds to live a sheltered little existence. 

Tonight we were having pasta alfredo, black olives and fresh baked bread.  I decided that I'd play a little tricky-poo on my two youngest kiddos.  I served their plates, each with plain pasta, olives, bread and "dipping sauce" for their bread.  Internet -- You should have seen these two kids gobble up their bread with dipping sauce!

MMMM!

Yum!

This is soooo good mom!

Yummy!

Did I tell them it was the same sauce they usually turn their noses up to, you might ask.

Heck-to-the-no I didn't!

Like most mommas, I have a picky eater on my hands.  My picky eater has a little brother who totally looks up to her.  For the record, Hannah hasn't always been so picky but in recent years she has decided that when we have spaghetti she prefers hers sans sauce of any kind.  Honestly, if she prefers plain pasta then it really isn't that big of a deal, except I'd hate for her taste buds to live a sheltered little existence. 

Tonight we were having pasta alfredo, black olives and fresh baked bread.  I decided that I'd play a little tricky-poo on my two youngest kiddos.  I served their plates, each with plain pasta, olives, bread and "dipping sauce" for their bread.  Internet -- You should have seen these two kids gobble up their bread with dipping sauce!

MMMM!

Yum!

This is soooo good mom!

Yummy!

Did I tell them it was the same sauce they usually turn their noses up to, you might ask.

Heck-to-the-no I didn't!

Tonight as I sit here, a turkey ready to be placed into the oven, the ingredients for all of our favorite holiday recipes waiting in an organized line before their preparation I sit here feeling thankful and blessed. 

I am thankful for my family, for my friends, for the men and women who serve our country each and every day.  As I sit across the table from my family I will certainly remember those who are protecting our country so that we can enjoy many-a-holiday in the comforts of our home in a land that is protected by the brave men and women who are willing to sacrifice all to protect us.  I am thinking of the families that sit around their tables absent a loved one as they serve our country.

I pray that each of you finds even the simplest things to be thankful for this holiday season.  Without acknowledging those tiniest blessings we often miss the biggest reasons to be thankful.   May your holiday seasons be happy a bright.

So, yesterday Hannah writes a letter to the tooth fairy (She prefers dictating versus writing so this was a HUGE deal)- Her letter reads:

Dear Tooth Fairy,

Tonight I want gold coins please.  The tooth was really hard to get out and it hurt a lot.

Thank you very much.

Love,

Hannah

(After work yesterday my husband made a special trip to the bank to retrieve said "GOLD COINS".)

Last night I was wrapping up a few last minute projects after we had tucked the kids into their beds, therefore I was the last one into the shower.  While in the shower, I asked my hubs if all of the kids were asleep. When he told me that we officially had four sleeping kiddos I reminded him about that "THING" that we needed to do.  You know....that thing where he gracefully slips into his set of tooth fairy wings, flutters down the hall and slips "GOLD COINS" into the pocket of one particular tooth fairy pillow, removes the aforementioned letter and tooth and flutters ever so delicately out of the room without making a peep.

I shall give you one guess what never happened last night.

The tooth fairy didn't come!

[GASP] What?! 

Hannah scurried down the ladder of her bunk bed, and into the living room with her tooth in hand, "Mom, the tooth fairy didn't come."

What?

"The tooth fairy didn't come." [With a very long face and look of devastation.]

Thank goodness I was thinking on my toes....

"Did I remember to tell you to put the tooth nearest the elephant and gently rub?", I asked her.

"No.", she replied as she scurried off to grab her tooth fairy elephant pillow.

We rearranged the tooth in the pocket, rubbed it gently and have officially set it out...AGAIN for the tooth fairy to grace us with her presence this evening!  I think I'll be dusting off my wings this evening.  That look of devastation just about killed me this morning! 

Day 1 - Today I am thankful for by husband who loves me unconditionally, knows me better than any other person in the entire world, serves as my husband, lover, best friend, confidant, soul mate, partner.......

Day 2 - I am thankful for my four absolutely beautiful and wonderful blessings-my babies.  I could not imagine my life without my children.  I pray that in this lifetime I can teach them at least half of what they have taught me.

Day 3 - I am thankful  for my family and friends.  For laughter and tears and laughter to the point of tears.

Day 4 - I am thankful for my cameras and for the fact that I am able to capture memories of a small moment in time that will last forever.

Day 5 - I am thankful for paint!!   Yes, I said it, I AM thankful for paint.  I love to create something new out of something old.  Time and time again, over and over I am in awe of the magical powers of paint.

Day 6 - I am thankful  for music.

Day 7 - I am thankful for belly laughs....big hearty belly laughs....

Tonight, while having dinner Hannah tells me that she REALLY wants her 2nd top front tooth out because it HuRRRRRts.  I console her, as any mom would and tell her that it will be out soon.  Without skipping a beat my friend who was visiting proceeds to tell her about other children who are receiving "gold coins" for their teeth.  HOLY CRAP!  Talk about putting a mom and dad on the spot.  I haven't any Sacagawea coins handy at the moment.  Not only do I not have them readily available at this hour , the last time I requested some from the local bank they hadn't a clue what I was talking about.  Yes....Seriously....the teller hadn't a clue what a Sacagawea dollar was!  Now, as she sits here praying for her tooth to fall out and for the tooth fairy to bring her "gold coins", I am dusting off my tooth fairy wings and praying like crazy that the tooth doesn't fall out until I can get my hands on a few Sacagawea dollars! 

Better yet, I think I should add up all of the teeth that are yet to be lost so I can just keep that number of coins on hand.....

I wish I could say that I wasn't one of "THOSE" people, but I must admit that as a result of the move I am forced to unpack boxes and face the reality that at some point in my life something happened and I started to keep about 90 percent of, well, EVERYTHING!

I could literally recreate my children's nurseries because I have saved everything.  Like most things there is an event, or maybe even a series of events in life that creates the desire to save everything.  I have always been a very tactile person.  I love to recollect a memory and actually have something tangible that coincides with that memory.  One memory turns into two, which turns into a million, then ten million.  The item starts as just one, then two, then a million, then ten million items.  A shrine. An homage to my entire life and to my children's lives.

My other problem is the fact that I love upcycling and recycling old things and creating new things.  Hobby collector, perhaps?  

As I sort through this "stuff" I am finally at a point where I am embracing the stupidity and insanity of thinking that I need to keep every. single. thing.  It is really ridiculous.

I have donated tons of stuff before, believe it or not and I can't wait for the day to turn my trash into a little cash, along with donating a ton more to local charities!

What do you hoard collect?

AKA....Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey Thomas O'Malley the Alley Cat

For as long as I can remember or at least from the moment I saw Aristocats for the first time  I was in love!  Such a cute movie!!

I like cats but must admit that I have NEVER been a fan of litter boxes or fur balls.   Yes, yes, yes!  I am well aware that all of that is part of  owning a cat.  In our case owning a cat also means serious allergy problems for my husband.   My kids on the other hand have been begging for a cat.

NOPE!

NOPE!

NOT A CHANCE!!!

That, internet is what I repeatedly said until I started thinking about all of the snakes, rats and mice outdoor kitties are capable of eliminating!  The thought of our little slice of the world being critter free makes me very, VERY happy!  

It was win/win....and well...win!   The kids get to have their own kitty, we don't have to have fur-balls and litter boxes and our Mr. O'Malley can enjoy all of his beautiful world while, hopefully ridding ours of these little nuisances along the way.  Fingers Double Crossed!!

And....

Did I mention that O'Malley had a homeless brother.  What could be better than one exterminator?

TWO!!!!

Internet, meet our very adorable Monroe!!

 

 

I am not really a believer in having 100% outdoor pets, but I can't think of a better place for these little ones to take up residence.  They'll enjoy many a day by the bay and perhaps even feast on a fish or two (Not to mention the love and affection from the kids and I!).

 

Take the internet, for example.  As a kid there was no such animal in existence, yet now we come to rely so heavily on the internet.  For social networking purposes, business, gaming, reading, school, homeschooling resources,  the news, directions, the dictionary a thesaurus, a referencing guide,  shopping, couponing, recipes, blogging.....   The list is just never-ending.  And look at all of the old reference materials that are becoming obsolete.  

I was recently without internet.  At first I didn't miss it because at one point in time in my life I used the "Old school" referencing materials.  I could still use a card catalog at the library if it came down to it, prepare recipes from a cook book, ya-da, ya-da, ya-da.  It makes me wonder, though about the upcoming generations that so heavily rely on the internet as their ONLY resource for just about everything.

This brings me to another revelation about the change in society and reliance on computers.

A few months ago I pulled through a drive thru to buy drinks for my kids.  We don't typically eat junk food, but the kids were thirsty and I didn't feeling like hauling out Tori's wheelchair just to buy drinks.  I pulled up to the line, which was very backed up, then to the speaker.  I placed my order for four drinks, pulled forward to magical window number 1 where I was greeted by a teenage kid who was obviously struggling at the window.  Apparently their computers were down and she was forced to accept money from customers and figure out the change to return to the customers.  She wasn't able to accept any credit cards whatsoever.  

I WAS FLOORED!

This kid was stumped by a computer outage.   I worked for nearly ten years in the restaurant business.  We had a specific kit called a "crash kit".  When the computers went down we were able to input everything manually without the need for the computers.  When servers were hired I trained them in the usage of the crash kit to make sure they understood how the restaurant would work effectively under those circumstances.  I couldn't believe the leg-work it took for this kids to figure out how to charge me for four drinks that were a dollar a piece plus take out tax!  This by no means was rocket science, but for this kid it might've been the closest  she'll ever come to that.

Oh....and here's another example-

I pulled into the gas station and realized that I did not have my husband's wallet.   I knew I needed to get gas and, knowing that I seldom carry cash I better find an alternative. I turned to the ton of change that I had handy in the car versus turning the car around to fetch my husband's wallet.  I counted ten dollars worth of quarters, proceeded to the window to pay for my gas.  I opened the tray and set my quarters in the slot.  The cashier looked at me and said, "We don't accept that kind of money.".  I kid you not!  I thought she was kidding, so I smiled back.  She repeated herself, "We don't accept that kind of money."  "Quarters", I replied.  "Yes, she said because then we have to count it and the manager's don't want us to have to count."   Holy crap folks, this is a cashier who no longer has to count!  I had made up my mind that I was not leaving that window.  A minute or so passed when she reached into the slot, removed the quarters and told me that she'd do it this time, but it that ever happened again I needed to have my quarters rolled!  Uhm....okay.  I think I might just elect to pay with change more often and really stump these non-counting cashiers!

In September my husband and I celebrated twenty years together (for those of you just joining me in blog-land, my husband and I were high school sweethearts).  I already knew I loved him years ago.  I certainly wouldn't have taken on the enormous task of restoring my childhood home with him had I not known that our love was strong.  I have seen marriages crumble under the pressures of building a house, let alone renovating a house that was built in 1904.  There is nothing plumb or level about this house.  The one hundred plus years of being nestled by the bay and taking the winds head on has to play a huge part in the settling.   There were layers of filth and old crumbling, itchy insulation that had to be removed, the desire to keep things old while also making some things new out of necessity, the termites, the crumbling mortar (The list really could go on and on.).  The fact that when our home of the last twelve years never sold we knew that our restoration would have to be tackled on a shoestring budget.  We did it anyway.  We jumped in feet first, somewhat aware of the tasks that lay ahead.  There have been some bumps in the road, some projects that have taken longer than we anticipated.  (Let's just say that re-plumbing and rewiring a house that is built like Fort Knox in the hottest part of the summer in a home without air conditioning was taxing on our bodies.)  Did I mention that we did all of this with all of the demands of having four children and two dogs under foot.  We had to address all of their needs before even beginning to think of proceeding with our daily projects.

As I'd lay my head on my pillow, his arms wrapped around me I knew that there was not a single person in this world that I'd rather share this experience with, mentally, emotionally, physically.... Not a single person!!! 

I think that my Grandma, Auntie and Dad, who loved this house more than I can even begin to describe would understand the changes that we made and above and beyond I believe that they would be so proud of the blood, sweat and tears (I was the only one shedding those...(You had to know there'd be tears.)...  It is hard to see old "stuff" removed when you really, REALLY wanted the house to be a total restoration, but realize the necessity in upgrading some things).

All of this was truly a labor of love.  It was an honor to tackle this with the love and lovies (our babies) of my life.  

A few months ago we purchased unfinished cabinets from Lowe's that were manufactured by Continental Cabinets.  I have to be real honest and say that I typically like to shop at Lowe's versus Home Depot.  I like the lighting and overall feel of the store better at Lowe's than Home Depot.  Don't get me wrong I frequent both, but I frequent Lowe's more than Home Depot.   Even the exterior of Lowe's is more appealing to the eye. (At least to my eyes)

Sorry, I digressed.  Back to the cabinets.....

So we purchased all of the lower cabinets that we needed with the exception of a thirty inch sink base.  We also purchased one of the upper cabinets but decided that we'd postpone purchasing the rest of the upper cabinets so we could divvy the funds out in different directions.  I brought the cabinets home and began the finishing process.  Because we are in a very humid climate I even went so far as to polyurethane the backs and sides of the cabinets in an effort to protect them from mold spores that are common in these climates.  I had a bit of a problem when it came to staining one of the twenty-four inch base cabinets.  I am not sure if the wood had been treated differently, but the stain did not seem to take in certain places.  Before staining the next twenty-four inch base my husband and I decided that we'd better exchange or return these cabinets to ensure that we hadn't lucked out and purchased a "bad batch".  We took the cabinets along with the receipt to one of the local Lowe's stores. Along the way the defective cabinet's door cracked when wind rushed under the cabinet door.  We continued into the store where the lady at the returns desk began to process the return.  I left my husband in charge of the return while I took my youngest kiddos to the restroom. Apparently while I was gone the lady handling the returns called over her manager since the one cabinet was damaged.  I returned from the restroom to find that Netherly (And no, I am not making that name up) was hassling my husband regarding our return.  Carlos can certainly handle himself when it comes to returns, but I was livid!  We have spent thousands of dollars in Lowe's stores this year alone and this guy was seriously hassling my husband about our need to return his defective cabinets.  Step aside!  Step aside!  He turned to me and asked what he could do with these cabinets now that we had one that was defective.  I kindly explained that he couldn't do anything with them anyway because they were apparently defective when we purchased them.  Now I was on the verge of exploding!!This idiot had to be kidding me.  At that point he told me that he was going to talk to my husband and completely turned his back to me!  I was SHOCKED!  I don't think I have EVER received such crappy customer service!  Finally he agreed to take back the cabinets 'since we had our receipt'.  My husband handed the lady the receipt.  She promptly called the manager over again.  Apparently the receipt was over 30 days old.  Netherly returned, passed by us and said that he would not be returning the cabinets!  I was livid beforehand; Now I was fuming!  Off we went, reloading the cabinets onto the trailer.

I knew something was way wrong!  This guy wasn't being this big of an ass for no reason. 

A few days passed and we went to search for our last base cabinet.  We arrived at our usual Netherly-free, friendly Lowe's. Without skipping a beat we made our way to the cabinets and purchased our sink base.  We got home, set the unfinished cabinet in place when, holy hell Batman, this cabinet wasn't the same!  The drawer-fronts were different, the heights were different, the quality was crap and the manufacturer was different.

I was so stressed out!  How would my kitchen come together when the cabinets didn't even match?  Would I have to have a cabinet maker make a stinkin' cabinet that was at least similar to take its place where I needed the cabinet? My upper and lower cabinets wouldn't match!  My tummy churned! A dear friend called another store manager for me who did the legwork and concluded that Continental Cabinets had given Lowe's a thirty day notice to have all of their cabinets removed from their shelves.  My tummy REALLY churned!  I went back to my normal Lowe's and talked with the manager.  I explained my situation and stressed that I needed a solution to my problem.  He had his fellow managers tackling my problem.  They found my cabinets.  Apparently all cabinets that were not sold were donated to the local Habitat for Humanity Restores.  They went a step further a called the local Habitat for Humanity locations to actually ensure that they had the cabinets I needed!  Take that Netherly!  That's how managers should operate and treat their customers!  Karma, Netherly, Karma...and it'll sneak up and get you when you least expect it!

It was obvious that I had to hustle and make the trek out to purchase my cabinets.  My husband's work schedule was completely booked so my dear friend accompanied me and my four kiddos for what ended up being a nearly six hour trip (It took awhile to get there, pull the cabinets, realize that there was a different layout option for my dimensions, pull those cabinets then go ahead as planned with the original design idea).  I am so grateful for her patience because I was completely scatter-brained that day and certainly needed someone to help me sort everything out and make sure that I had EVERYTHING I needed right then and there!  As it turned out it was a steal.  I ended up paying twenty percent lower than Lowe's last discounted price on each cabinet.  Not to mention the fact that while perusing the door selection we came across and absolutely gorgeous (well....it will be gorgeous when I am done with it) door to grace the back of our house.  The lines and leaded glass details were beyond perfect for our home!  The back of the house will finally have some much-needed pizzazz! 

In April of 2004 we welcomed our beautiful daughter Hannah into the world.  Here is the story of how she came to be....

We felt so blessed the very moment that  we found out that we were expecting another sweet little blessing.  I would be lying if I said that I weren't nervous, since before becoming pregnant with Hannah I had lost a pregnancy. 

My OB at the time suggested that I take daily injections of progesterone to make certain that I sustain this pregnancy.  I did as she suggested, because I trusted her.  In retrospect I still scratch my head in wonder at why in the world I trusted her as much as I did.  I mean my progesterone levels were already within normal ranges and I hadn't had any problems with my progesterone levels in the past.    I imagine that my hips said thank you once I reached the second trimester and I was able to stop the daily progesterone injections.   

During the second trimester, around week 17 I began having a bit of cramping on the top portion of my belly.  My doctor sent me in to the hospital  to have a few diagnostic studies performed.  Initially she thought the pain might have been coming from my gallbladder.  When the sonographer scanned my gallbladder it was perfect.  They moved on to my kidneys which were also great.  The next organ on their list was my liver.  I knew that something must have been happening in there because the scan took a bit more time than the previous organs required.  She stopped the scan and went to pull in a colleague.  They both studied the screen for some time and asked me to change position several times, inhaling a deep breath and holding it, then exhaling and holding it.  They both stepped out of the room for a bit.  Before I knew it the radiologist came into the room and began to explain their findings.  There was a mass the size of a softball in the largest lobe of my liver.  To say that I was shocked was an understatement.  I had so many questions, more than you can even begin to imagine....What was it?  How did it get there?  How long had it been there?  Is my liver functioning okay?  Will this affect my little princess that was growing inside of me?

I was discharged from the hospital and asked to come in for an MRI, without contrast to better evaluate what in the world was going on in there.  After the MRI results came in my OB's office decided I'd better see a specialist.  They told me that the tumor, located in my liver could be one of many things, some benign and harmless.  Others were just downright scary!

I scheduled my appointment with the doctor whom came highly recommended by my OB.  I made a list of questions for the new doctor, questions that had kept me up at night that I wanted answers to.  I sat in the office for what seemed like forever.  She was unable to answer any of my questions and her best suggestion for what was going on was to perform a needle biopsy.  When I questioned her recommendations she told me that she had delivered a preemie baby who was in the NICU, but just fine.  It was clear to me that she was absolutely not concerned a single bit with the little life that was thriving inside of me.  I had a completely unsettled feeling in my gut that told me NOT to go through with the biopsy.  There was just something about poking a hole in a vascular organ on a pregnant woman whose blood volume is already increased due to the pregnancy that just doesn't seem like the brightest idea.  At the end of the day I felt like her lack of knowledge and statistical information led me to search for a better doctor and more importantly a second opinion.   I went deep in the heart of the medical center to find the answers that I was looking for.   My new doctor was able to answer questions before I was able to ask them.  This doctor laid out all of the possibilities and gave me his best educated guess based on my age, health and family history.  He went on to tell me that first and foremost we needed a healthy momma and a healthy baby, then we'd worry about the rest.  Our plan would be to monitor the tumor each month until delivery.  If the size or shape changed then  he would make a small incision, take the needed biopsy and hold pressure on the incision to make certain that there'd be no internal bleeding.  He also said that in those circumstances we'd have an operating room ready in case we were forced to deliver our baby.

The rest of the pregnancy was absolutely wonderful, minus the stress of wondering what exactly was going on inside of my liver.  The day came when it was time to deliver, April 27th, 2004.  I went into the hospital for my scheduled c-section.  The operating room was swarming  with people, OB, High risk OB, Pediatrician, Anesthesiologist, CRNA, Operating room nurse, delivery nurse, nursery nurses, the administrator over the unit, my husband and my mom.

The epidural was placed and I was laid back on the operating room table.  Suddenly I felt the urge to cough and couldn't feel my chest.  Before I knew it I was vomiting on the operating room table.  That was definitely NOT my idea of fun.  Our pediatrician stepped over to my side and assured me I was okay.  Apparently they had decided to order a spinal and an epidural so that the high risk OB could feel my liver after Hannah was born to make sure that my liver felt okay.

Soon the c-section was underway and in a matter of minutes I heard the sweet newborn baby cries that I anxiously awaited.  My little girl was finally here.  The pediatrician whisked her away to the isolette in the room to begin her assessment.  Hannah was evaluated as a 36-weeker, 6 pounds 7.4 ounces and healthy other than being tachypnic.  She, unlike Tori was swept away to the NICU immediately where she was placed under an oxygen hood and closely observed for eight days.  Those eight days seemed like an eternity.  I was so ready to be home with my sweet little girl but knew that she was in good hands in the care of the NICU nurses.

I felt so blessed and so overwhelmed with joy once I knew my little girl was finally able to come home.

(Six weeks after her birth (about mid-July) I was able to have a needle biopsy to finally have a definitive diagnosis for the growth that was in my liver.  As it turned out the tumor was identified as a Focal Nodular Hyperplasia.  It is a benign tumor that apparently many people have and just never know about it.  At my one year post biopsy MRI the tumor had shrunk to half its size at the time of diagnosis.)

I have to say that I love the place where I had my ultrasound this morning.  I've been there once before and the level of compassion and professionalism that the staff shows their patients is absolutely extraordinary.  Our hope was that, by some strange miracle our growing little one was in fact growing, but the reality is that our pregnancy has resulted in a blighted ovum and we will wait for my body to miscarry naturally.  Thank you all for your love, support and prayers this morning.  I cannot begin to tell you how relieved I was when I looked at the monitor and saw my uterus, with the gestational sac in my uterus rather than in my fallopian tubes.  I fully believe that HE is far bigger than us and that everything happens for a reason.   This, apparently was not in His perfect timing.  I sit here at this very moment counting our many blessings and relishing how rich life truly is.   Thank you again for your prayers and kind words.  It truly means the world to me (us).